What drives you?

Today was one of those days where at the end of it I have just enough left to say "WOW"..

I guess it goes back to Saturday. Saturday a friend had a free nights stay at the Crowne Plaza reserved, and unexpectedly needed to go to a funeral. She didn't want it to go to waste-so asked if I wanted to use it. I thought about the insanely stressful week I've had--ABSOLUTELY! My daughter and I grabbed a friend of hers-- and up we headed! We got to Springfield about 2, checked in, changed and headed to the mall. Now, anyone who knows me knows I truly hate shopping. But I had my daughter and her friend with me- and they wanted the MALL! lol.. so we went. What drove me on going there? Wanting to make her happy.. It actually went pretty well- I got a few things for her, hubby & friends and then made some calls lining up volunteers for the Angel Tree. We went to eat at Lonestar..that's one of my absolute favorite restraunts! What drove me there??.... making ME happy! :-) The waiters were putting these pitchers of ice above me on my booth wall and the girls kept holding their breath and all wide eyed waiting for it to tip on me.. I'd hold my breath and hold really still- they were laughing so hard!! There was this cute young man serving that the girls were giggling over. My daughter said "He's too cute for me to ask his name." and I said "Whoa!!There is no reason to not be confident in yourself to NOT ask a question." (Now keep in mind, my beautiful daughter has just now spent all her money at the mall...and we are heading to the bookstore next. The Bookstore is one of our favorite places.) So I said, "I dare you to ask him 2 questions. Each question is worth $2.50... you ask him what his name is...and you ask him when his birthday is." She mulled this over the rest of the dinner, and kept looking at me. I'd raise my eyebrow and smile and say "It's totally up to you hon." On leaving, she went up to him and asked him both questions...he was surprised but answered both and at the end she said "thanks!!" and hightailed it out of there. What drove her? Money.. what drove me? Boosting her confidence. We went to the bookstore and then back to the Crowne. We decided to go swimming and spend time relaxing in the hottub. What drove me? The desperate need to finally relax! When we got back to the room and were ready for bed, we rented Salt on ppv..was a great action flick but iffy on the story. What drove us to do that? Boredom. lol..

This morning we woke up to one hell of a blizzard. It was blowing like mad out - and I knew when we got on the highway- we were in trouble. That was a scary ride home. Visibility was nil - at best 30 ft and at many times 10 ft. Every few miles there were vehicles in the ditches.. I was so scared I would do something wrong. I got off at the Raymond exit thinking I know the roads and if I needed there were friends at certain distances I could go to. The road was shutoff by troopers and there were 2 semis jacknifed, 4 cars in ditches and even a firetruck in a ditch. The police let me through but with the vehicles spread out - I literally couldn't see where to drive. I sat there for a few minutes scared to go forward - fearing I'd end up off the road and in a ditch myself..and also scared I'd be plowed into from behind...what drove me? Fear.

The girls were quiet the whole way and I would catch my daughter watching me intently and her concerned looks in the rearview mirror..and I'd give calm directions on where I needed her to keep eyes out and give a calm smile.. 'it will be just fine'.. inside I was terrified- but what drove me? Hiding it & wanting her to feel safe. That ride home it really hit again that although she's a teen that 'doesn't need mom' most of the time (which is fine- I encourage her independent thinking)....she looks to me for safety and security still- when it hits the fan- I'll be there calmly reassuring her & being strong for us... until I can be that puddle of goo..

What would normally be an hour drive, ended up being a 2 hour drive- but I took that "slow and steady wins the race" mindframe. My daughter may have had to pry my hands from the steering wheel when we got home- but we made a great team- they watched behind me to let me know if a car was coming out of the blizzard to hit my back end and I watched the front. We had been home about 30 min. and I got a call for help to get a friend from a stuck car back home. My jeep and I are known to not stay down long in town..So I went and got her and took her home..what drove me then? Concern..

Later in the afternoon I went to the Angel Tree pickup...we know how desperate these parents get on pickup day. Usually they are in line for HOURS before we open the doors. We have explained to them all over and over..your bag is NOT going anywhere- we have each bag specifically designed for the child's needs.. but when you are in the 'needy' or 'destitute' category- the system is always worked out for that "First come first get" mentality. Desperation drove us & them to get there- and my team and I opened EARLY to get them in and HOME safe as soon as possible.
Out of 250 kids- all but 20 parents came on a blizzard day. Where hwy 16 and 127 were closed- because it was so bad...they were scared their kids wouldn't get the things they needed- and they came anyway. We have another pickup day scehduled for the other parents.

We got so many "God bless you"'s ... a woman came up and hugged me and said "My kids couldn't have Christmas without you doing this." and we even had another couple give us a Christmas card with a note of thanks inside it.. I got so many hugs and almost crying moms that day.. hope drove them there..and hope will drive them home... now THAT is what it's all about. Overall- that right THERE is what drives me.

Even writing this blog- in a way is about what drives me. Keeping some form of contact with people who aren't in my 'everyday' life...
So for a few days..just think about this.. what drives you? The 'What' and 'Why' may change- but being driven...nope..that never will..