Gestures

Gestures- tonight I sit at home and relax - which was totally unscheduled. Tonight was going to be my last night working Angel Tree- I had to 'check my list twice' and make sure all bags are accounted for. But one of my 13 yr old daughter's very close friends woke up this morning and found his mom had passed away from some heart issues--very unexpectedly. My daughter and I found out today- I at work, and she at school... I figured she wouldn't take it well- and I was right. It brings back many painful memories for both of us on that intense loss of someone so precious to you-and the mourning process that someone we care for is now going to go through. She got in the car after volleyball and we hadn't pulled out of the lot before she was struggling not to cry. She brought up my heart issues from a few months back- and how she's now scared I'll be gone- she wants me to go back and make sure I'm ok.. and she "couldn't think", so I pulled over and we talked, cried a bit, and hugged a lot. The words of "Honey, I'll be fine" can't be said. Because her and I know- first hand- that there are no guarantees. I can say- "I'll be here as long as I am able- and that she ALWAYS has my love- no matter where I am..and that's why we need to try to make a difference while we are here." And that she makes a difference- an impact on those around her also. She stands up for those bullied, she doesn't 'make out' with boys, she focuses on grades and sports..most importantly- because of HER I make choices every day that are positive. Ones that I want her to follow my lead on.. being caring, strong, sensitive, funny..and also not allowing bad treatment of yourself... or others around you.

Angel Tree would wait for tonight.. we curled up on the couch and talked about what her friend is feeling..and how she is in a unique position to understand where he's at- and be a good friend while he goes through this.. and then we tickled and laughed and talked about boys and college and friends.. precious gestures..

She was talking about how she knew how overwhelming everyone wanting to tell her friend how sorry they were was going to be for him..that he feels like he's in a world that isn't real right now..and gestures came to my mind.. a kind word..a gesture of hope.. of understanding.. of courage.. if you think about it everything is a gesture of some kind or another. Even a pet nuzzling your arm for attention, letting a car go first at an intersection, things said in conversations..
It can be a good gesture - or a bad gesture. A sarcastic look- ignoring someone..bad.. along with that interpretation of gestures.. not assuming the worst and giving the benefit of the doubt when you can..not judging harshly but trying to be understanding of the person's feelings and situation.

Speaking of, Monday I got a call from a mom on my 20 neediest families list. She was trying not to cry and asked me if I could come over and talk. I told her I'd like to but literally couldn't. I've been jam packed busy. So I said I had a few minutes- how are things going?.. and she started crying. Turns out her and the kids hadn't had heat for 3 days- and it's damn cold here in this area. She didn't have $100 for the electric heaters needed to heat each room...and had called her caseworker- no programs open anymore for getting a furnace working again. So I said I'd call her back and made some calls. I found someone to do a free service call (that way if the cost for fixing the furnace was too much we could apply the funds to room heaters), and found a program that would pay $100 to the need determined by the service call. The service guy said it was the blower motor, and a relay, with 2 hrs labor to fix it. The total would be $200 to get working heat for them again- ($100 from my program and $100 from the one I found). With monetary donations that I've received- I was able to say "Fix it." They had to sleep another night in the kitchen with their coat gloves & hats on and the oven door open- but they knew it was the last night- it would be warm and normal again at home tomorrow.. Tuesday the service guy fixed the two issues- and the mom called me that afternoon- again - trying not to cry- but this time with thanks and asking if she & the kids could go to church with me. She's been working the programs I've connected her with- and I have seen improvement in the lives of her and the kids in the 2 months I've been involved with them. All gestures...positive ones..

Today I got a call from the school..they had a 13 yr old girl that counselors, school administration and a guardian are trying to help.. evidently there is a mom that's 'off her rocker'- and the girl is staying with the guardian. I guess it's not safe for this girl to go back to get her clothes right now- she had the jeans and shirt she was wearing and that was it. The school/counselor/guardian are trying to keep the girl out of the foster care system while the guardian does the necessary steps to make things legal. They heard around town of my "Boost" program I'm trying to kick off, and called for help. They said the guardian didn't have the money to get the girl a weeks worth of clothes to hold her over- she's going to be paying for food, school meals, Christmas, etc. The school was hoping someone could help them and bring clothes to the office tomorrow- so she won't be wearing the same outfit 2 days in a row. So a friend and I went to a resale shop here in town, it didn't have the sizes we were looking for...so we went the next town over.. found 3 pr jeans, 5 shirts and a jacket.. total was $56 (not bad, ey?- but on one 'case' for the Boost program- well, we weren't sure if we should spend that much).... We didn't realize who the owner was at the time- but she overheard us talking about making the most of the money we had and asked why..so we shared the girls situation, the program we were trying to get going, and the school's request. She cut the bill in 1/2 and asked to be added to my list of resources to contact!! A gesture here, a gesture there...a gesture of hope and understanding. Tomorrow when I drop the clothes off- the gesture to that girl is that there's hope. She's not alone. She has school officials, counselors, strangers- pulling for her. This could be a defining turning point in this teen's life. Up or down... hope or despair. today has been a day of wonderfully special...Gestures..